To Hear and Understand

This piece is a reflection on the film A Silent Voice, by director Naoko Yamada. The film is about a boy named Ishida, who is plagued with intense guilt and is unable to form meaningful connections after he severely bullied a deaf girl in middle school. This intense self-imposed isolation is shown by other characters speaking in an unintelligible hum, with their faces obscured by large “X”s. The film follows Ishida as he learns to accept forgiveness and to see the humanity of others. I wrote this piece as a prayer, because the struggle to truly understand other people, to open my soul to moments of seeing and being seen, is something I often have to bring to God.

Day in and day out, I hear words poured out around me,
but how often do I hear their significance?
How often do I search beyond the sound of syllables, the familiarity or strangeness of voices--
or look up into the eyes of the person speaking to me?

How often do I not only hear, but listen?

Lord, You know what I need before I ask.
I do not discern need in this way, but I long to.
Grant me courage and patience, O Lord,

not to hear only the roaring waterfall of words around me,
but to listen to what they mean, each syllable, each tone,
even if I want desperately not to hear it--
even if it is harsh or misguided, or if it grieves me.

Silence, O God, my buzzing and self-centered thoughts which drown all meaning.
Grant that I might not hear crashing syllables, but a person
speaking to me across the divide.
Lord, grant me the power to listen, and to understand;
and grant me Your peace which passes all understanding,

that I might bear unflinching all the things I hear,
and that at last I may raise my head and look
into the vast universes of their eyes.

Amen.